


I could never hate you

by pparkenthusiast



Series: I could never hate you [1]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, posie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17640986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pparkenthusiast/pseuds/pparkenthusiast
Summary: Penelope and Josie lives with each other. Penelope misses Josie a lot these days, and went berserk after an incident one night.(i know i suck at summaries but can you give this one shot a shot?)





	I could never hate you

Penelope takes a deep breath as the car approaches her old apartment building. It’s been 3 weeks, maybe even more (but she lost count) since she’s been in the proximity of this place and she’s feeling rather tense. Her chest tightens as they passed the familiar houses and lamp posts near the building. The feeling of nostalgia around her makes her comfortable yet anxious at the same time. MG looks at her through the rear view mirror and notices her fidgeting. The caring vamp motions the tribrid girl who seats on the front of the passenger seat to check on Penelope who was sitting at the back. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you?” 

 

Penelope clenched her fists wanting to say ‘yes’ to her best friends’ offer but hesitates. She knows she has to do this alone even if it kills her,  _ hopefully it does. _

 

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I can do this by myself,” Penelope felt that she said that to herself more than she is saying it to them. “I’ll call you guys later.” 

 

The car slows down the as it nears the building. She felt as if she hadn’t been there for years when really it has only been for a “few” days. Her body stiffens as the car came to a stop. MG pulls up the car and removed his seatbelt before turning to Penelope.

 

“You don’t have to do this, I can- We can finish everything for you.”

 

“No, really. I can do this, you guys can leave.”

 

MG and Hope looked at each other and before they could try and convince her otherwise, the girl already opened the door and said her goodbyes. She waves them off hastily before entering the building practically running up the stairs. She didn’t want to change her mind, she didn’t want to burden her friends once more so she left abruptly. 

 

The hallway looked the same, actually nothing was even remodelled. Seeing the view from the building with the familiar sound and the people who made them made her chest tighten even more so.

 

There were only 5 apartment rooms on that floor. At the end of the hallway was Penelope’s, or at least it used to be.

 

With every step towards her door her shoulder felt heavier. Every single one of the special memories she had there came rushing to her and her heart ached with longing.

 

The door handle feels cool around her palm as she pushes the door open. She slowly stepped inside trying to protect herself from the pain she feels with each step she takes. The breeze around her grew cold too.

 

The kitchen is on the left as soon as you step in. Penelope goes straight to the living room, she passed the couch by the window and passes the now upright bookshelf beside it. Boxes are scattered around the by the coffee table and shelf and in front of the couch. Part of the bookshelf is chipped off but that was because of her. It’s empty now too. The boxes beside it contained the books and were sorted by genre. Other boxes were also piled up, organized by its uses, and the tape and sharpie was that was used was placed on the kitchen counter beside some liquor bottles and snacks with a note under it.

 

**“Just in case you need it, don’t down it all at once tho. Please call us. ~MG & Hope”**

Penelope smiled a little, she knows the liquor was definitely from Hope and the snacks from MG. She  takes a shaky breath silently thanking her best friends. There weren’t much words uttered when her life fell apart, so her ‘avenger squad’ is what Hope calls it just let her be and arranged everything she was supposed to fix. She’s really lucky to have them in her life, they took turns taking care of her, they both can’t be there for her often but she’s glad they’re there at all. She honestly doesn’t know how they put up with her these past few weeks, but nonetheless, they did and she is forever grateful for them.

 

She grabs one of the bottle from the counter she didn’t know which, but she didn’t care. Bourbon. It was a bit warm to her liking but it’s still alcohol and it’s the only thing she can count on to provide heat from the chill in the apartment. She takes a 2 big gulps, taking up a little past the quarter mark of the bottle’s content and closes her eyes.

  
  
  
  
  


_ “Scoot over.” _

 

_ Josie looks at Penelope standing in front of the couch as she lies on her back reading her book smirking at her girlfriend. _

 

_ “Don’t wanna” _

 

_ “Come on, I want to lie down too.” She whined _

 

_ Josie smiles teasingly and shakes her head ‘no’. Penelope fake shock and takes Josie’s book and set it down the table. She quickly moves to straddle Josie and pins her arms above her head. The girl’s eyes widen in shock, surprised at her girlfriend’s actions. Penelope takes one hand to pin Josie’s arms and used the other to tickle Josie. Josie laughs and squirms under her girlfriend, trying to free herself but fails miserably. _

 

_ “Please, please, please, stop. I’ll move! I’ll move I promise!” _

 

_ Penelope stops and looks at her girl with an eyebrow raised. Josie always teased her and this is how she’ll always counter. Josie was strong, she is, but tickles are one of her weaknesses. Penelope loves how her girlfriend looks disheveled, trying to catch her breath. That description fits two categories both in which Penelope enjoys doing. Josie had laughing tears in her eyes. Josie Saltzman is such a fine sight and Penelope Park is captivated. _

 

_ “Really?” _

 

_ “Yes, just stop. My sides hurt” _

 

_ Penelope nodded satisfied and gets off Josie. Penelope gave the book back and lies down next to Josie. Josie positioned herself lying partly on Penelope with her head on her arm and continued reading the last page she was on, and Penelope is acting like she didn’t “harass” the latter just a second ago. _

 

_ Josie huffs and Penelope just gave her a kiss on the head, a way of her asking for forgiveness. Josie likes it. She loves her, Penelope is a handful at times but she adored every bit of her. _

_ “I love you Penelope Park.” _

 

_ Penelope smiles and hums a contented sigh. She felt Josie snuggle up to her more. She felt the soft breathing from the girl on her stomach and thinks how warm and comforting it is to be loved by Josie. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Penelope let the tears fall, the tears she had been trying desperately to keep. The feeling of how she won’t have the luxury of feeling that warmth again hits her. She takes the bottle from her hand up to her lips and took big gulps. Almost half way through the bottle. She silently sobs, she tries her hardest not to fall apart. It’s been weeks but the wound of being left behind feels so fresh like it was yesterday.

 

Suddenly, she feels like she can’t stand being on the couch any longer. The comfort it once gave makes her stomach clench in pain instead. She felt like she’s going to throw up, she opts not to. She gets up and heads to the kitchen to look for a bottled water. As expected, the fridge was empty and unplugged. Luckily her friends, most likely MG left some in the cabinet under the counter so she took one and drinks it. Her heart’s racing from the sudden stomach ache and her knees feel weak. She leans by the sink for support and puts her right hand on her chest, trying to calm her heart.

 

She looks up and observes the room. No more spatulas hung by the stove, all the plates, mugs, glasses were neatly arranged in one of the boxes in the living room labeled fragile. All cabinets and kitchen drawers were rather empty other than the few bottles of water that MG left for her.

 

Penelope clutched her shirt, her heart throbs. Not only does her heart feel empty, one of her favourite room -actually he whole house is empty too. It feels surreal.

  
  
  
  


_ “Hey there.” Penelope leans by the kitchen entrance watching her girlfriend washing the dishes. _

 

_ “Hi” _

 

_ “You know you can do that later right? Or use magic? Or even,” Penelope fake gasp “ a dishwasher” _

 

_ Josie rolled her eyes, Penelope didn’t see it but she knows she did.  _

 

_ “Yeah, but I couldn’t help it” _

 

_ Penelope steps towards the girl and positions herself from behind, wrapping her arms around Josie’s waist and resting her chin on her right shoulder. _

 

_ “But I miss you” _

 

_ “We’ve been together this whole time. Don’t be so dramatic” _

 

_ “Is it so wrong to miss your presence?” Penelope pouted _

_ “Penelope, I love you. But dirty dishes. Can’t help it, and besides I’m almost done. Just need to rinse them now.” _

 

_ “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to make leave those right now to spend time with me?” _

 

_ Josie pauses and closes her eyes, she felt Penelope’s soft lips trailing kisses on her neck. _

 

_ “Pen.” _

 

_ “Mm?” _

 

_ Penelope plants love bites on Josie’s neck and slightly pulls down her shirt exposing part of her shoulder, and continued the trail of kisses there. Josie’s legs are becoming weak. _

 

_ “Park.” _

 

_ “Mhm.” _

 

_ “P-Penelope please” _

 

_ Josie’s voice wavers, and Penelope grew more confident, getting a little more rough as Josie moans. _

 

_ “Penelope.” Josie says as she drops the sponge and quickly cleans off her hands before facing Penelope. _

 

_ “God, you’re stubborn.” _

 

_ Penelope stops and looks at Josie with innocent eyes and smile, amused and acting as if she wasn’t doing anything “inappropriate” just now. _

 

_ Josie wraps her now free hands on Penelope’s waist pulling her close, crashing their lips together, connecting them after all the teasing. Josie felt Penelope’s smirking as they kissed. _

 

_ They move in sync, memorized each other’s movements already as they’ve done this multiple times already. Oh Penelope knows what makes Josie moan and vice versa. They moved slowly at first, building momentum until they grew hungrier and devour each other, their lips fighting for dominance. _

 

_ Penelope swears Josie’s lips are the softest and greatest thing she ever tasted. The taste of strawberries(other times cherries depending on Josie’s current chapstick) has been imprinted on her mind and she craves it all the time. Strawberries with a hint of Josie is her favourite flavour. She’s addicted to it. But definitely not as much as how she hears her melodic voice making sinful sounds. Penelope’s mind becomes a mess and lust overcomes her. Her need for Josie overpowers her. _

 

_ She gathers up the strength to pull Josie up the counter, letting her wrap her legs around her as they continue to make out. Their kisses grew rougher and deeper by the second and they part only to catch their breaths. Josie wrapped her legs tighter pulling Penelope impossibly closer than before. Penelope lifts Josie’s oversized shirt (which were the only thing she was wearing btw other than an undergarment) and throws it to the ground. Penelope teased her again she continued doing so. _

 

_ “Bed. Now.” Josie growled before she kisses Penelope again which much fervor and Penelope obeyed whilst giving the same energy back. _

_ Penelope doesn’t know how but she mustered up the strength to carry her and made their way towards their bedroom. Penelope sits at the edge of the bed and Josie sitting on her lap. They’ve both done this many times before but it still felt as if it was their first, but doing it as if it was their last. _

 

_ Penelope spent the rest of the afternoon trying to convince Josie to stay in bed with her. They cuddled for the rest of the time, falling asleep in each others arms. _

  
  
  
  


Penelope found herself standing in the middle of their bedroom. It’s cold and empty, the room seemed bigger than she remembered. It was only the sheetless mattress on the floor that covered the space.

 

The foot of the mattress leaned against the corner of the wall. Their mini bookshelf in the room was all packed up too, opposite of that shelf was a bulletin board that was decorated with photos of the both of them. They used to call it the “Posie wall”. It was their ship name. Penelope was the actually the one who came up with it. Hope always teased them for it but Penelope was never bothered. Josie thought it was dorky especially coming from Penelope, of all people she would’ve thought it was going to be MG who was gonna come with that name. Josie loves Penelope so she let her keep the dorky name. The bulletin board was filled of pictures of their favourite captured moments but it also had a bucket list. They would make a goal to this or that or whatever they wanted and enjoy the feeling once they cross it off. They also had a “Posie book” it was a scrapbook filled with pictures of their dates or just sweet little moments captured by Penelope, it also has detailed entries of how she felt and thought during each moment. Josie doesn’t know about this book. This book she hid from her, as she had plans with it (but also she was a  _ little  _ bit embarrassed. Just a little though). She doesn’t know where the book now is though. She really hopes it’s still in good shape.

 

Penelope’s legs couldn’t hold up any longer, she gave in breaking down on the floor, the blood pounded in her ears, her heart thudded in her chest feeling like it’s just going to burst out- and not the way Josie used to make her heart feel. The tears blurred her vision, it felt like looking through a fish lens. 

 

Penelope let the tears run down her face, she  _ misses  _ Josie. So much. So so much.

 

She misses Josie’s little smile when she wakes up finding out Penelope was already awake and was watching her sleep, she misses the way Josie just lays down on her whenever she’s had a long day and falls asleep in her arms, she misses Josie trying to cook her dinner. The girl is good at many things but cooking is definitely not one of them. But you can bet that Penelope ate everything Josie made for her without complaints. She misses Josie trying to beat her at mario kart, eyes focused, almost glaring on the screen not blinking scared Penelope may drop something on her, and her tongue sticking out slightly. Her tongue sticks out when she’s really focused, Penelope found out Josie doesn’t actually know that she does that. Making it more endearing and adorable for Penelope. 

 

She misses Josie’s terrible puns and jokes. She misses laughing with or at Josie. She misses _being with_ _Josie_. They were so happy together.

 

Why did she have to leave her like that?

 

She smiles at that. She smiles at the thought of Josie. Smiles at the little flashes of memories of Josie. Though the pain she feels remembering Josie leaving her makes all the happiness she felt go away.

 

She wonders how MG and Hope cleaned up the mess she made on the first night she was alone. She guesses the lack of boxes meant that they weren’t able to salvage much of  their her stuff. She hopes they were able to save some of the things on the ‘Posie’ wall but she doubts it.

 

Penelope sat at the foot of the mattress gazing at the kitchen through the doorway.

  
  
  
  


_ “OW!” _

 

_ Penelope was out by their apartment door holding the keys up towards the door lock. She just heard Josie yelp... in pain? What could that girl be possibly doing to even get hurt?. She slowly put her ear on the door, and carefully put the keys back in her pockets not making a sound.  _

 

_ Sizzling... And Popping?. Is she cooking? Josie can’t cook. She never cooks. Josie can’t even cut vegetables up properly. Josie would never go in the kitchen other than to wash dishes or get a snack. _

 

_ “FUCK!” _

 

_ Penelope fumbles to take the keys out of her pocket. Hearing Josie cuss must mean she’s hurt or in trouble. She was worried. Penelope needed to get in there who knows what was going on. Penelope swung the door open looking at Josie worried on what she was going to witness. _

 

_ Penelope looked at Josie in disbelief. What?..... That was it?, that’s what’s going on? _

 

_ Josie stared back while sucking on her index finger. With a knife on the other hand. _

 

_ “What are you doing here so early? You said you were getting here later!”  _

 

_ Penelope didn’t know what to say at the sight. Penelope snorted which grew to laughter. And She kept laughing.  _

 

_ “What are you laughing at?” Josie pouted. _

 

_ “I-” Penelope wheezed. “What are you even doing?” She went to the bathroom to take out a bandaid from the medicine cabinet and went back to the kitchen. _

 

_ “Cooking,” Josie scowled “It was supposed to be a surprise for you, but you came home early.” _

 

_ Penelope put the bandaid on her finger and smiled while shaking her head slightly. Josie raised an eyebrow at Penelope who’s excitedly setting up the table. _

 

_ “Well,” Penelope sat the bar stool at the opposite end of the counter.  “Go on.”  _

 

_ Josie continued ‘cooking’ Penelope’s favourite meal, she played music while she was stirring and started humming along. Penelope enjoyed the rare sight, smiling ear to ear.  _

 

_ She saw Josie put the heat up way too high and tried to tell her but Josie told her “She knows what she's doing.” _

 

_ BEEP BEEP BEEP _

 

_ The smoke alarm started blaring. Josie waved her arm and hands around coughing. Penelope took out the batteries from the smoke detector, turned off the burner, and opened the windows. She turned to Josie who was sulking.  _

 

_ “I'm sorry..”  _

 

_ “It's all good baby,” Penelope says in the softest voice “it's the thought that counts right?”  _

 

_ Josie hit her playfully, she just laughs. “Let me help next time, we’ll cook together.” Penelope kissed her cheek. Josie just nods still looking at the ground. _

 

_ “I really wanted to do something special for you, for once.” Josie's voice cracked. _

 

_ “Hey, you're the most amazing thing that entered my life,” Penelope cupped her face “every little thing you do is already special. I swear if you do anything more my heart will literally burst.”  _

 

_ Josie chuckles.  _

 

_ “You're so sappy, I didn't know Miss Penelope Park could get like this.” _

 

_ ‘Soon to be Mrs. Saltzman-Park if you keep that up’ Penelope said in her mind. _

 

_ “Want to order take out? you pretty much burned all our groceries for the week.”  _

 

_ Josie playfully hits her again. Penelope just smirks. _

 

_ “I hate you.”  _

 

_ “I know.”  _

  
  
  
  


Penelope stood up and takes another deep breath. She needed to go to bathroom. It's past their walk in closet, she wonders if they were packed yet. They weren't. She stumbles upon Josie's hoodie- Well her hoodie but Josie ‘stole’ it from her and is was now the only one who wore it. It was the Salvatore hoodie, the navy blue with gold printing on it. It has Penelope’s Jersey number on the back plus her last name. Park. Josie wore it all the time during games and around in their apartment. It was Josie's favourite hoodie. She wondered if she ever even washed it. 

 

Penelope took it off the hanger and brings it up to her nose. It's soft and still smells like Josie. A tear dropped on it. Penelope wipes it away this time. No more, not now at least. She took off the jacket she was currently wearing and put the hoodie on. It wasn't much but the smell and the fit felt like Josie was hugging her. It made her heart swell.

 

She opened one of her drawers and it made her heart swell more. It pained her to see it but also grateful it was saved. Hope and MG found her secret stash, she's so going to get teased for it.

 

**“Peez we’re truly sorry for reading your diary. But not that sorry cause we enjoyed every bit of it!. WHO KNEW bAd bITcH PENELOPE PARK WAS THIS SAPPY AND PERVY!**

 

**Anyways, this was all we could salvage from your wall + your book. It’s not much but we HOPE (lol get it? im pretty fuckin funny, youre lucky to have such a funny friend also should i change my career to ‘aspiring stand-up comedian’ let’s discuss) you like it!**

**— MG & Hope (aka your avenger squad)” **

 

That was definitely MG trying to write an apology letter at first before Hope snatched it from him. She chuckles, she can hear their voices when she read it. She did laugh at Hope’s remarks though, they’ll definitely have that discussion later.

 

Penelope's face heated from crying and from the embarrassment she's definitely never gonna hear the end of it. But she'll also need to thank them a lot for helping her throughout all of this.

 

She placed her Journal/Scrapbook down and the box of stuff from the wall. She dug through her drawer more to find something. A smaller box. She let out a relieved sigh when she found it. Penelope stared at it blankly, she already knows what's in it. She put the smaller box and Journal in the “Posie wall + book” box and proceeds to the bathroom.

 

She washed her hands. She stares at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red and so was her face from all the crying. Penelope splashed cold water on herself. She is a mess, but that's okay. It's been a… she can't even describe how fucking terrible these past few weeks has been but yeah hopefully it’s gonna be okay. Quite frankly she's always been a mess but not this much. _Not like this. Especially after_ _Josie did that._ Her mind is hazy. Being in the apartment brings so much memories and it hurts every inch of her. It hurts her to the very core. She feels like throwing up. Her stomach feels like someone repeatedly punched her there or someone tying knots inside. She wants to throw up but can't. She just stares at herself at the mirror. Trying to calm herself and slow her breathing.

 

“Stop it Penelope Park. Just Stop it. She left you.  _ Josie left you.  _ So just stop. You can do this. You can get through this. So stop. Just stop.”

 

She splashed more cold water on her face and continued to stare at her, reflection letting her mind drift off.

  
  
  
  


_ “Open up already!” Penelope shouts from outside the bathroom door.  _

 

_ “No! Go away already!” Josie pleaded _

 

_ “What's the big deal? I've seen everything already.”  _

 

_ “This is different! this is a different level of intimacy I'm not ready for! Plus I'm shy and you know that!” _

 

_ “We already live together, It's bound to happen at some point! Come on please just open the door” _

 

_ Josie opens the door slightly, annoyance clearly painted on her face. “Babe please just let me pee in peace. I can't have you here cause you'll hear it and I just can't have that!” Josie's horror can be seen with just the thought of Penelope hearing her pee. _

 

_ “I want to shower, I'm sweaty and it's sticky. I don't like it. Plus the water will be on and it'll probably be louder AND you already farted in front of me so what's the big deal?.” Penelope laughs _

 

_ “Probably,” Josie mocked “And it's more embarrassing than that. Now go away evil one.” _

 

_ Josie slams the door on her face. Penelope can't stop laughing. Gosh, she loves Josie. But they've been together for years now and Josie still gets shy to do little things like this. It's weirdly adorable. _

 

_ Penelope heard the flush and leaned against the wall beside the bathroom door ready to greet her girl. _

 

_ “Done?” Penelope smirks _

 

_ “Shut up, don’t say anything. No making fun of me.” _

 

_ “I didn’t even say anything yet!”  _

 

_ “ ‘YET’ you were about to! And you were thinking it!” _

 

_ Josie pouts and was stomping off away from Penelope but Penelope grabbed her wrist and pulled her in for a hug. _

 

_ “EW you really are sticky! What did you even do to get this sticky?” _

 

_ “Shower with me” _

 

_ “No thanks” _

 

_ “Please? My stickiness already rubbed off on you” _

 

_ “That’s your fault, shower alone” _

 

_ “Fine” _

 

_ Penelope let her go for a moment before turning around and swooped her off her feet and carried her in the bathroom. Penelope swiftly locked the door and turned on the shower getting both of them wet in their clothes. _

 

_ “Sike, you didn’t have a choice.” Penelope grins _

 

_ “I really can’t with you sometimes.”  _

 

_ Penelope just hummed and leaned in for a kiss, which the latter reciprocates immediately. Penelope pulled away first. _

 

_ “At least it’s just sometimes, You love me for the rest of the time- actually you love me all the time regardless.”  _

_ Josie huffed at her obnoxiousness.  _

 

_ “Yeah, well, you love me all the time too.” _

 

_ Josie swats Penelope’s hand away whenever she made any advancement when they were taking off their clothes.  _

 

_ “We can’t, our bill will go up.” _

 

_ “No it won’t, don’t worry too much.” Penelope started planting kisses down her neck going to her collarbone. _

 

_ “Pen, really it would we can do it afterwards.” Josie’s voice started getting more breathy. _

 

_ “Showering together actually saves time, energy and water” Penelope says still planting kisses. _

 

_ “Peez we both know we’re doing far more than just showering.” _

 

_ Penelope stopped immediately and made a face of disgust.  _

 

_ “Don’t call me that while I’m- oh my god. M.G’s face just popped in my brain.” Penelope said gagging _

 

_ “That’s what you get for not listening to me.” Josie couldn’t stop laughing. _

 

_ “I hate you, now that’s just ingrained in my head for all eternity. It ruined showering for me” Penelope pouts. _

 

_ “Sorry babe,” Josie said still laughing, cupping Penelope’s face. “Let me make it up to you.”  _

 

_ Josie pulled her in for kiss. It was supposed to be a quick kiss. A peck. Just one kiss. It wasn’t supposed to end up with a whole make-out session amongst a lot of other things.. They ended up spending a lot of time in the bathroom. _

 

_ Month later when they received their bill, they were both shocked at how high it was. Josie looked like her soul just left her body and Penelope couldn’t help laughing. Which resulted with Josie lecturing her and making her promise they will  _ **_never_ ** _ do it again. _

 

_ A promise that is later broken that day of course. Promises are made to be broken right? Or was that rules are meant to be broken? Doesn’t matter, you get the point. _

  
  
  


Penelope continued to stare at her reflection, smiling at the memory of Josie. The girl could never resist Penelope, just as much as Penelope couldn’t resist her. Josie was weird. Weird in her own special way, and Penelope loves and will always love every bit of her.

 

Penelope felt tears welling up again. She quickly splashes water on her face and left the bathroom. She gathered the journal/scrapbook and the box of things from their wall, as well as putting the smaller box into her hoodie pocket. She went to the closet near the entrance where they put their coats, shoes, keys and where Penelope or Josie leaves notes for each other.

 

When she opened the closet door she choked up. It was the last note (letter is actually more fitting way to describe it) Josie ever left for her. She knew what was written in it word for word. She hated it. It broke her. It killed her. She picked it up anyways. Not gripping it as hard as she did the first times she held it. It’s crumpled already. Penelope loved Josie’s handwriting, she used to purposely not write notes down for class and asks for Josie’s notes. Then when they first dated, during their honeymoon phase, Josie surprised her with note complimenting her on how well she did her presentation or the following week she compliments how breathtaking she looks. There’s always a new one every week and as corny as it is, Penelope loved it. She looked forward to the next one each time, and it never stopped even after they’ve broken up Josie revealed she actually still wrote one for each week. But this one? This one she hated. 

  
  
  


_ Penelope came home late that evening. She wasn’t able to reach Josie all day. Josie texted her though. It was short but at least she let Penelope know she was going to be busy for awhile so she shouldn’t wait up on her. Penelope wasn’t worried at first, but she did start to when Josie didn’t text her during lunch break or any break really. _

 

_ She wanted to call her just to check up if everything was okay but she decided no to and called Hope instead. Hope didn’t answer either. She tried M.G. he didn’t answer either. She put her pride down and even called Lizzie and even she didn’t answer. She hasn’t been able to put her keys down or put away her shoes yet, she had a feeling she didn’t have to.  _

 

_ “Josie?”  she tried calling out in their apartment. _

 

_ No answer. She tried again, and again. Her heart is beating faster and harder. She went into their room, Josie wasn’t there. She dialed up her phone again and again, there’s no answer it just goes to her voicemail.  _

 

_ She ran out their apartment and went to the roof. Their favourite spot. She wasn’t there either. Penelope took deep breaths to calm herself down trying to remind herself that Josie texted her saying she’ll be busy for awhile. She’s not used to this. She’s used to Josie being home when she gets home. But Penelope is trying to reassure herself that Josie is fine. _

 

_ Josie is fine. _

 

_ She started going back down the stairs slowly, steadying her breath. She’s worrying for nothing she thought over and over again. She decided to plan what meal to prepare for Josie when she gets home or even go an extra mile and set up a candle lit dinner for the both of them. She started thinking what Josie’s favourite food and dessert so she can make a list of ingredients to buy.  _

 

_ Penelope reached their apartment and sighed.  _

 

_ “Huh. Maybe I am the clingy one in this relationship.” _

 

_ She would’ve never said that out loud if Hope or M.G was around, maybe she’ll let Josie hear it. She would never hear the end of it if any of them hears it actually. She chuckled at that thought. Penelope opened the closet to place her key and saw a piece of paper. Josie doesn’t usually leaves notes this big. She usually uses post its.  _

  
  


_ Penelope bolted out the door, still has the paper on hand. All sorts of questions started forming in her head. But it was mostly just “Why”.  _

 

_ She ran to the elevator pressing the button furiously. _

 

_ “Can it go faster for fucks sake?!” She slammed her hand against the control panel. _

 

_ It took too long. _

 

**_“Penelope, when you find this, I’m so sorry.”_ **

 

_ Penelope ran to the emergency escape stairs. Seems like an emergency right now. With each step she took her heart grew heavier cursing under her breath. _

 

**_“Know that, I love you. With all my heart.”_ **

 

_ The car wouldn’t start. She kept trying though, it’s not like she had a choice. The sounds of the engine revving and dying kept going over and over again.  _

 

_ “For fucks sake, please! Just start.”  _

 

_ Guess God does exist somewhere and heard her. The car started. She drove over 110 mph, she was sure the police were going to pull her over, but thankfully it never happened.  _

 

**_“Don’t_ ** **_ever_ ** **_think for a second that I don’t. Don’t think for a second that your efforts of getting me to finally take care of me was a waste. That all of those years was a waste of that.”_ **

 

_ Her phone rang. It was Hope. She pressed the answer button built in from the car. _

 

_ “Penelope? Penelope-”  _

 

_ “How is she?! Give me the exact location right now Hope.” _

 

_ “Penelope, I’m so sorry. Josie made me promise and Alaric wouldn’t let me either and- and Caroline is here too, and-” _

 

_ “Damn it Mikaelson I’m not asking you to tell me a story! I’m asking you where and How she is right now. Now tell me!” _

 

_ Hope gave her the address, not without apologizing over and over again. She was close. Only a few minutes away, she hopes- she prays to whatever God that she’ll make it. _

 

**_“Because it wasn’t. And it never will be. Even though, you did it in your own twisted ‘Penelope Park’ way. Even though,  it hurted both of us in the process. I’m beyond grateful and happy we still found our way back to each other.”_ **

 

_ Penelope couldn’t find the building Hope described. She clenched her jaw and her fists. Her chest tightened, she couldn’t get a phone signal. She couldn’t reach Hope. Penelope threw the useless thing on the wall, pacing back and forth. _

 

_ “Penelope!” _

_ She heard M.G’s voice behind her, she turned around and ran towards him. Penelope pushed him against the wall. _

 

_ “Why the hell would you ever keep this from me?! Why?” _

 

_ “Peez, look. I know. I’m sorry, but we’re running out of time.” _

 

**_“I’m sorry for doing this to you, please don’t hate me for it. I do hope you understand though, but I don’t expect you to. I don’t expect you to forgive me either. Because what I’m doing is far too selfish.”_ **

 

_ The tears are swelling in her eyes, she shook her head and slowly removed her arm against him. _

 

_ “Take me to her already.” _

 

_ M.G didn’t waste any time and sped her there.  _

  
  
  


_ Still it was too late. _

  
  
  


_ She tried to get to her but M.G and Hope held her back. She watched Josie fall to the ground. _

 

**_“And despite what everyone else says, Penelope Park you’re actually the selfless one in this relationship.”_ **

 

_ Penelope finally broke through and ran to Josie, holding her body close to her begging for her to wake up. She looks at Lizzie, hoping to see any bit of Josie that went to her. But she couldn’t. _

 

**_“I love you Penelope Park, always have. Always will.”_ **

  
  
  
  


Penelope took the letter and put it in the box with the rest of the stuff. She grabbed her keys and left. She immediately locks the apartment door behind her. Being in there suffocated her. She ran to the car. Their car, to relieve herself from the neverending headache brought by being in Josie’s and hers old apartment. It felt wrong being in there. It felt wrong being there without Josie.

 

The car was parked in the usual spot, right in front of their apartment. It was the best spot, she fought for that spot. She had to threaten a cocky soccer mom for it + she pays the building extra for it. 

 

She hastily gets in the car and put in on drive. The need to leave the area was strong. She couldn’t stand being in there any longer. Also, Penelope had to get somewhere. It’s more important than staying there and relive memories she had with Josie.

 

The drive was silent. Only sound was the acceleration and the air conditioning. She didn’t bother turning on the radio, she had a feeling whatever music that plays it’ll just remind her of Josie. Usually she plays loud music in the car with Josie and they’ll sing/scream the lyrics ‘til their throat hurts. The ride was silent but her mind made so much noise, it drowned out the sounds of her surrounding. She couldn’t stop thinking about Josie.

Before she knew it, she arrived at her destination. She’s never been there at all. This was her first time there. Penelope absolutely despises this place. The grass and trees were neatly trimmed. It was peaceful, but it was far from what Penelope is feeling. 

 

She parked the car and picked up the box and got out of the vehicle. She walked on the newly cut grass and walked towards Josie’s spot. There wasn’t anything but a framed picture of Josie leaning against the stone. All the flowers that was placed there by Alaric or Lizzie or others wasn’t there any longer. Penelope drops to her knees and puts the box beside her. Tears were falling uncontrollably once again. She caressed Josie’s photo with her fingertips.

 

“Hey, I know I haven’t visited at all nor did I come during.. Anyways, I’m sorry for not visiting. I couldn’t bring myself to come here. Regardless of what you said about me actually being the ‘selfless’ one. That isn’t true. At least not right now. It was selfish of me not to visit you. I just can’t believe it you know? You- You left me. I just- I didn’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know what to do. I miss you JoJo.”

 

Penelope picked up the box and placed it beside the gravestone, to the opposite side of the photo. She took out some photos and laid it down in front of it. 

 

“I got these for you. It was one of the few things that Hope and M.G managed to salvage. I kind of went berserk after what happened that night you- you know. I ruined a lot of things. If you were here you’d definitely get mad at me for it and give me hours worth of lecture and make me tape it all up.” 

 

Penelope chuckled at the last bit, Josie actually once did make Penelope tape pictures up after she accidently put them through the shredder. 

 

“But I’ll keep these safe. I won’t break our things anymore. At least not purposely.”

 

She places the pictures back in the box and took out her Journal. 

 

“This one. I was  _ never _ gonna show this to you. You would make so much fun of me if you read this. But I did plan to show it to you that night. I had a lot of things planned that night.. It was going to be special.”

 

Penelope paused, she took out the smaller box she had taken from the drawer earlier. She opened the velvety box and brought up one knee, getting into the position. The box contained a diamond ring, it was an heirloom as well. It was beautiful too, it would suit her too, like her last name. ‘Josie Park’ has a nice ring to it. But she would totally take ‘Saltzman’ just to spite Lizzie.

 

She picked up the Journal and flipped to a specific page. 

 

“I had it all planned out and everything.” 

 

_ ‘The plan: _

 

  * __Make special dinner (her fav meal ofc)__


  * _Ready the bath (be extra, get petals and stuff)_


  * _CANDLES (but make sure not to burn the apartment down)_


  * _Be charming and woo her over during dinner_


  * _Show the journal and ultimately just give it to her_


  * _Let her laugh while looking at it_


  * _While she’s distracted get down on one knee_


  * _Catch her surprised and ask her the question_


  * _Ofc she’s gonna say yes so you slide that damn ring on to her finger’_



 

  
  


“I came home late that night too. I was planning to propose but I figured it’ll be more special if I did it during our anniversary so I pushed the date back a bit... I’m so sorry. I should’ve loved you more, cherished the moments we spent together far more. But most of all I’m sorry.. I’m sorry for not telling you about the merge sooner… When I found about it- the first year we were dating. I found that the ‘stronger’ one of the twin absorbs the power of the ‘weaker’ one and then the weaker one dies. And you crawled so far down the codependency hole, I thought it would’ve been better if I broke up with you. I thought I could help you better that way...”

 

Penelope sloppily wipes her tears away with the hoodie sleeve. 

 

“When I finally tell you about it, I- I don’t know. I thought I could talk you out of doing- what you did that night. But I’m realizing it now...Now, I know losing your sister would  _ destroy  _ you. And you’ll live blaming yourself for it. You would’ve never been able to live with that. Regardless of that, I still want to ask...”

 

She stares at the photo of Josie still in the same position as before. She lets more tears fall and gives a smile. She felt a gust of wind hit her face. She shuts her eyes, she could almost feel and see her. Penelope’s heart stopped.

 

“Josie Saltzman, Will you marry me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy reading nearly 7000 words of fluffy angst?  
> this is my first time ever writing a fic before please let me know what i need to improve on :)  
> ((don't mind me if u get updates or sumn i'm just editing grammar mistakes lol))  
> have a good rest of your day!


End file.
